


Insomniac

by Violent_entertainment



Category: Naruto
Genre: Gen, Mystery, POV Hatake Kakashi, Pre-Shippuden
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-30
Packaged: 2020-05-19 07:23:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19352218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violent_entertainment/pseuds/Violent_entertainment
Summary: After a few odd encounters, Aoba begins to suspect there is something seriously off with Iruka, and manages to recruit Kakashi to help him determine what.





	1. Kakashi's Recruited

Hanging around the mission room to socialize off-duty wasn’t too unusual, since the jounin lounge was usually restricted to the elites except by invitation, but the frighteningly intense gaze directed into the room from an unwell-looking Aoba Yamashiro parked in the hallway outside was definitely so. As Kakashi watched with interest, a couple of laughing chunin stopped dead in their tracks at the sight of the crazed looking ninja blocking their path and nervously retreated back around the corner, making noise about forgotten errands that really needed to be taken care of. 

Kakashi lowered his book and tapped it against his thigh thoughtfully. Aoba was usually a pretty collected guy, and this blatantly suspicious behavior was unlike him. Glancing into the room, nothing appeared amiss. There was Tsunade, obviously hungover, while Shizune stood faithfully and exasperatedly at her shoulder, haranguing her. The usual complement of mission desk workers were there, some chatting with each other, as was a single jounin leader supervising a team of genin picking up a mission scroll. Slow day. As always, the cheesy “Let’s do our best!” banner hung from the ceiling. And yet... 

Kakashi wandered over to Aoba and leaned against the wall next to him, free hand in his pocket. This close, he could see dark circles under the tokubetsu jounin’s eyes through the lenses of his ever present sunglasses. 

“What’s so interesting?”

Aoba’s eyes shifted to Kakashi, then back onto his target as if even a second of interruption could cause him to miss something vital. There was a distracted pause, before the man murmured, “Nothing. Just a personal project of mine.”

Kakashi smiled conspiratorially. “Come on, you can trust me. Look!” He raised his hands and deliberately tucked his book into the inner pocket of his vest. “You have my full attention.”

Another long pause followed, before the man’s eyes flicked to Kakashi again, then left and right down the hall suspiciously. Speaking low, he began hesitantly.

“There’s something off...about Iruka.” Under his breath, he added, “If that even _is_ Iruka."

Kakashi felt an eyebrow raise in surprised alarm. Spycraft went hand in hand with the shinobi way, and questioning the identity of a ninja, especially one so integrated into the workings of Konoha, was a serious accusation. 

Kakashi peered into the room again, and casually lifted his hitai-ate to examine the man seated at the side of the Hokage, currently absent-mindedly doodling in the corner of a blank mission report, a look of complete boredom on his face. That was no henge. 

He lowered his forehead protector again. “Maa, he looks the same as always to me.”

Aoba scowled. “Then maybe he’s never _been_ Iruka." 

Confusion and suspicion settled over Kakashi’s face. "What exactly are you getting at?” 

Aoba sighed deeply, and removed his sunglasses with one hand to rub at his eyes with the other. Looking into the mission room again, Aoba bit his lip in uncertainty, then replacing his sunglasses, slouched away down the hall at a swift pace. “Follow me.” 

The other shinobi led Kakashi away from the administrative side of the complex and into an unused classroom on the academy side. He pulled a small notebook, like one a journalist might use, from his pocket and flipped through several pages to the front. 

“I first noticed about three weeks ago. I’d just gotten back from a mission - information retrieval - and I had to report in to the Hokage right away, but I wasn’t looking forward to waking her up.” Noting Kakashi’s deadpan stare for the warning it was for seemingly wasting his time, Aoba began to speak faster and more emphatically. 

______________________________ 

It had been dark, too far from the street lights, and any stars were hidden behind a thick bank of clouds. He’d been tired and safe behind the village walls, which is why he wasn’t expecting the kunai when it flashed by, close enough to nick his ear. 

Rearing back and dropping into a crouch, he pulled a handful of shuriken from his weapons pouch and turned to face his assailant. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” a low voice hissed as a man stepped out from the shadows. At first, Aoba couldn’t make out more than his silhouette, wearing a standard Konoha uniform, but when he lifted his head, the haze of moonlight diffusing through the clouds caused the scar bisecting his face to glow. It was that mission desk worker, the same one who’d handed him his assignment a week before. What was his name – something unusual for Fire Country. Umino...something. He quietly sighed in relief and dropped the hand holding the throwing stars to his side. 

“Stand down, shinobi. I’m of Konoha. Returning from my mission.” He tapped his forehead protector in explanation. 

Umino didn’t stand down. He pulled another kunai from his thigh holster instead. “I asked you, where the _hell_ do you think you’re going, _Ko-no-ha_?” 

Welp, this wasn’t good. He lifted his hands again, so they were in clear view of the other man, but didn’t drop his weapon. “It’s me. Aoba. Yamashiro Aoba. You wished me luck on my mission last week, remember, Umino?” 

“That didn’t answer my question, Aoba.” Killing intent was starting to make the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck prickle up. Shit, what was his given name? 

“I’m reporting in to the Hokage. Standard procedure for intel missions. You should know that, right, uh...Iruka!” 

The man paused, thoughtful, before extending the hand not holding the blade. “Give me the scroll you retrieved, then.” 

“I don’t have a scroll!” That was clearly the wrong answer. He took a step back. Fighting another Konoha shinobi over some crazy misunderstanding, even if he was confident in his ability to take down a chunin who never left the village, wasn’t something he wanted to explain come morning. “I wasn’t sent to retrieve a scroll. Nothing’s written down. That’s not the kind of information retrieval I handle.” 

The man paused again. Dazedly, almost to himself, he said, “Oh, right. Aoba.” Then he hurriedly replaced the kunai in his holster and bowed deeply, apologizing profusely. 

______________________________ 

“He explained that he couldn’t get to sleep and decided to take a walk over to the school. I’d apparently startled him and he didn’t recognize me in the dark.” 

Kakashi raised an incredulous eyebrow. 

“But I did ask Ebisu the next day, and Iruka was teaching like normal, didn’t seem tired or off by any accounts.” 

It did seem very unlike the friendly, almost naive, schoolteacher, but Kakashi conceded to himself he didn’t know the man all that well aside from occasional chats over ramen about Naruto, so who was to say what was normal behavior and what wasn’t. 

“The sensei is a night owl. So what?” 

Aoba glared, but continued. “A few nights later I was heading home when I saw him go into the Intelligence Division building. I stopped for a drink at a place nearby, and watched for over an hour, but he didn’t come out.” 

Kakashi privately agreed that that was strange, and waved the other shinobi to continue. What would an academy instructor be doing at the building housing the infamous T&I? 

“I got out of one of the other mission desk workers that Iruka works in the records room, which is housed there. And then,” he grimaced and dragged his hand down his face. “I got a visit from Ibiki wanting to know why I was asking around about who works in the records room.” 

Kakashi sighed, and began to pull his book out again, losing interest. “Maa, our Iruka-sensei sure keeps himself busy.” 

“Exactly!” The tokubetsu exclaimed, as if this were somehow a revelation beyond measure. 

The copy-nin rolled his one visible eye. “I imagine it’s not unusual for mission desk workers to also file the reports.” 

Aoba grinned widely, baiting the hook. “In fact, most don’t. You need special clearance to handle A and S rank mission material, and while Anbu reports are handed directly to either the Jounin Commander or Hokage rather than pass through the mission desk, they still end up in the records room, where the employees have access to them, if not permission to read them.” 

Kakashi frowned, finally caught up in the mystery. “Iruka can't possibly have that kind of clearance. He’s a career chunin.” 

Aoba slammed his hands down on the desk and held a finger up in Kakashi’s face, too far gone to notice the danger projected in the jounin’s aggrieved expression at the intrusion into his personal space. “Yes, but he also works as the Hokage’s assistant!” 

Kakashi scoffed. “Shizune is Tsunade’s personal assistant.” 

“Shizune is Tsunade’s best friend and apprentice,” Aoba corrected. “But she’s actually pretty much always on call at Konoha’s hospital. That’s where she really works. And Asuma confirmed for me that Iruka worked for the Third Hokage, and Lady Tsunade chose to keep him on.” 

The copy-nin looked skeptical. “Doesn’t leave much time to sleep.” 

Aoba took a deep breath, and rubbed the back of his head. He looked Kakashi dead in the eye, handing over the notebook he’d been clutching desperately this entire time. 

“That’s because he doesn’t.” 

Kakashi looked down at the page. 

_Monday the 11th_

_8am-12pm Ninja Academy (hands off class to general studies instructor at lunch hour)_  
_12pm-1pm Lunch and grading in teacher’s lounge_  
_1pm-5pm Mission Desk_  
_5pm-7pm Records Room_  
_7pm-8pm Dinner at yakitori stand with Raidou (eaten on bench)_  
_8pm-12am Hokage’s Office_  
_12am-6am ????_  
_6am-7am Home (shower, change of clothes, breakfast)_  
_7am-8am Hokage’s Office (review of Hokage’s schedule)_

_Tuesday the 12th_

___8am-12pm Ninja Academy (hands off class to general studies instructor at lunch hour)_  
_12pm-1pm Lunch and grading in teacher’s lounge_  
_1pm-5pm Mission Desk_  
_5pm-7pm Records Room_  
_7pm-8pm Dinner at Ichiraku Ramen with Kotetsu and Izumo_  
_8pm-12am Hokage’s Office_  
_12am-6am ????_  
_6am-7am Home (shower, change of clothes, breakfast)_  
_7am-8am Hokage’s Office (review of Hokage’s schedule)_

_Wednesday the 13th_

___8am-12pm Ninja Academy (hands off class to general studies instructor at lunch hour)_  
_12pm-1pm Lunch and grading in teacher’s lounge_  
_1pm-5pm Mission Desk_  
_5pm-7pm Records Room_  
_7pm-8pm Dinner at Yakiniku Q with Asuma and Kurenai_  
_8pm-12am Hokage’s Office_  
_12am-6am ????_  
_6am-7am Home (shower, change of clothes, breakfast)_  
_7am-8am Hokage’s Office (review of Hokage’s schedule)_

__Kakashi flipped through. It was all more of the same. On the weekends, Iruka spent his mornings at the Hokage’s office rather than the academy, and his evenings at the bar rather than the office, but that was about it in terms of deviation from schedule. It went on for a few more pages, each day’s schedule annotated with detailed notes in shorthand on how long it took Iruka to walk between locations, what routes he took, who he encountered, and so on. Aoba must have been using clones to follow him._ _

__“Well?” the man demanded after Kakashi finished._ _

__“I didn’t realize the good sensei ate out so much. That’s not healthy.”_ _

__“Please be serious!” the other shinobi hissed. Kakashi sighed._ _

__“You lose track of him for six hours every night, right around the time all good ninja go to bed.”_ _

“ _I_ need to sleep some time, Kakashi. And it’s not like I haven’t been trying. He always gives me the slip.” Chewing on a thumb, he added, “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know I’m following him. He’s just very cautious before going wherever it is he’s going.” 

__“But how does this prove he doesn’t sleep, exactly?” Kakashi waved the notebook in his hand, making it bend back and forth._ _

__“He’s not at his apartment.”_ _

__In response, Kakashi just smirked._ _

__“He’s not seeing anyone, either!”_ _

__“That you know of, at least.”_ _

__“He hasn’t spent longer than an hour a day at his apartment in weeks, Kakashi, and despite what you’re implying, he is not meeting an illicit lover. So what is he doing? Don’t you find it at all suspicious that this...this person who has access to so much information going in and out of this village is unaccounted for every night?”_ _

__Kakashi scratched the back of his head. “Maybe he really is just walking the village, like he told you.”_ _

__Aoba pounced on the small concession. “If he really has been walking around all night for at least two weeks - probably longer! - then _why_ isn’t he as sleep deprived as _me_?!” The last part was practically a wail, as the poor man pointed to the dark bruises under his eyes.__

____

____

He buried his head in his hands, and murmured around his palms, “I don’t think he’s human.” His tone was half-embarrassed, half too tired to care how crazy he sounded. “I think he’s one of Suna’s creepy puppets. I heard they can even make them out of corpses.” 

__Kakashi sighed deeply, and dropped a hand on the man’s shoulder. “Go home and sleep, Aoba. If it’s bugging you that much, I’ll look into it.”_ _

__The black haired man rubbed his eyes again. “Thanks, Kakashi. Please don’t lose that notebook.”_ _

__The jounin stared down at the little notebook in his hands and drooped. This was going to suck._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So according to Narutopedia, there is no such thing as Hokage Tower, and the Hokage's office is actually in the same building as the school. What? Since when?!


	2. Kakashi Investigates

Kakashi didn’t see any point in observing Iruka every second of the day like Aoba had been trying to do, especially since the tokubetsu jounin’s own observations had proven the man did the same thing at the same time every day without fail. Aside from that six hour period that had Aoba pulling out his hair, Kakashi knew where he could find the teacher at any given moment. So logically, he only needed to observe him immediately before and after the point where he disappeared each night. 

At 30 minutes till midnight, Kakashi made his way over to the administrative building and dropped onto a branch with a good view through the window into the Hokage's office, flaring his chakra just enough to identify himself to Iwashi, who was on guard nearby, but hopefully not enough to alert the occupants. 

He was surprised and a little annoyed to find the Hokage Guard Platoon member present. It meant the Hokage was inside, despite the late hour. Aoba's notes indicated that Iruka usually worked by himself, completing the Hokage's inevitably unfinished paperwork, sorting through requests, writing letters to be mailed out in the morning, and creating her schedule for the next day. If he was truly a spy, which Kakashi sincerely doubted, he wouldn't be making a move tonight with Tsunade in the same room. 

It was odd, though. There was Iruka, sitting at a smaller desk to the side of the Hokage's, but Tsunade wasn't visible. 

The man had been dutifully moving forms and correspondence from the inbox to the outbox, but he seemed stalled at the moment, grumbling to himself and pushing more and more papers to the edge of the desk in a putting off gesture rather than completing them. 

A particularly aggravated growl was followed by a loud crack and a groan that clearly didn't come from Iruka. Tsunade's head appeared, blinking blearily from where she'd apparently been napping - or more likely, passed out - under her desk. One hand came up to rub at her head, the other clutching a sake bottle with a few drops still swirling around the bottom. 

“Something wrong, Iruka?” she asked with a yawn. 

“Ah, sorry, Hokage-sama. It’s just these jounins’ handwriting. It seems to get worse and worse everyday." He lifted a paper in desperation, flipping it over and then back again as if the _real_ report might be on the other side. Dropping it, he picked up another one, staring at it in frustration before dropping that one as well. 

"I can’t read any of it. Not _any_ of it!" 

Tsunade smiled, bemused, and waved away his concerns. "Iruka, you're a teacher! Of course you have high standards for penmanship. But I'll have a word with the worst offenders about it if you write me a list."

Rather than calm down, the man seemed to get even more worked up. 

“It's not just - whatever _this_ is, Hokage-sama," he said, waving a hand at the desk in front of him. He abruptly stood up, chair screeching as it was pushed back, and covered his ears. 

"I can’t _concentrate_ with the constant scratching in the walls!” He turned to her pleadingly.

"Can't you get someone to do something about the rats?" 

Tsunade's face abruptly turned serious. 

“Iruka, there should be something in your right pocket I need you to take out for me.” 

The man didn’t answer right away, looking confused as a hand drifted down to his flak vest and hovered there, before his fingers dipped inside one of the pouches. They came back out, whatever they’d found hidden behind the curl of his fingers, small enough to rest in the palm of his hand. Iruka stared down at it, face blank. 

“...It’s a medicine sachet.” Tsunade nodded. 

“Do you remember what it’s for?”

“...yes.” A hint of embarrassment had crept into the teacher’s voice. In reply, Tsunade simply pushed forward a pitcher of water on her desk so it came to rest closer to the chunin and folded her hands under her chin as she watched him. 

Iruka haltingly grabbed an empty tea mug off his own desk and took the few steps over to the Hokage's, filling it from the pitcher. Opening the small paper packet still clutched in his fist, he poured the powder into the cup and stirred it with a finger. Swallowing it down, he massaged his forehead with a grimace. 

"Ah, sorry, Hokage-sama." Glancing at the clock on the wall, he added, "It's time to wrap up here anyway. I'll…uh." 

As they both looked at the stack of unfinished paperwork, Tsunade put in, "I can do my own paperwork. Just this once," she added with a wink. 

Iruka's shoulders relaxed. "Thank you. Allow me to escort you back to the Hokage residence?" 

The two left the office, Iruka locking it behind them and making a hand sign to activate a barrier seal placed on the other side of the door. 

Kakashi followed them - discreetly - to the mansion. After Tsunade passed inside, Iwashi appeared and he and Iruka had a brief conversation, but Kakashi couldn't read their lips at this distance and in the dark, even with the sharingan. Iwashi vanished back to where ever he'd been hiding himself before, while Iruka stood alone for a moment in the shadow of an eave, slowly dampening his chakra signature. When Kakashi could just barely see him but no longer feel him, he used the body flicker jutsu to disappear in a swirl of leaves.

Curiouser and curiouser. 

He hadn't actually expected to find him there, but Aoba was right. Iruka didn't go back to his apartment.  
______________________________

According to the schedule, Iruka would be returning home shortly after 6:00 am, so Kakashi, for the first time in as long as he could remember, arrived an hour early. Swiftly disabling the trap on the window, he swung through and landed in the bedroom. Kakashi's nose was almost as sensitive as an Inuzuka's, and it told him the bed hadn't been slept in for a long time. But the room was clearly in use. Apparently Iruka was the type to leave clothes on the floor rather than place them in the hamper. Kakashi had to resist the urge to do it for him. 

The rest of the apartment was pretty bare bones, but in a way that was typical for a bachelor shinobi rather than what you might expect from someone living predominantly somewhere else. There was fresh food in the fridge and dishes in the drying rack near the sink. Some crayon drawings from students were taped to the walls beside framed photos of a very young Iruka with what must be his parents, including one of Iruka presumably asleep on a picnic blanket. The sad little bookshelf mostly held pulpy adventure novels - Kakashi chuckled to see Tales of a Gutsy Ninja - and two or three well-thumbed volumes on meditation and relaxation techniques at which Kakashi raised an eyebrow. Clearly they weren't working, if the teacher's famed explosive temper was anything to go by. 

Kakashi exited the apartment back out the window he came in through, resetting the trap as he went, and hopped over to the roof of the building diagonally across the street to wait. 

At 6:02 a.m., Iruka appeared on the street outside his apartment in another shunshin, and walked up the stairs, patting down his pockets and pulling out a key. He inserted it into the lock and turned while simultaneously pressing his chakra into a seal on the door with his other hand and made his way inside. 

Kakashi briefly considered summoning Pakkun to see if the pug could trace what direction Iruka had been arriving from, then cursed himself for not taking the opportunity to steal a piece of clothing with the man's scent while he had the chance. Oh well. It's not like he wouldn't have plenty of other opportunities. For now, he had a list of Iruka's contacts to interrogate.  
______________________________

Kakashi found Asuma in the jounin lounge. From the brief glimpse he got through the open doorway on approach, it looked like Kurenai was sitting in his lap, but by the time he entered she was on the other side of the room, and made her way out when Kakashi sat down beside the other man. 

Asuma's eyes shifted in Kakashi's direction and he acknowledged his entry with a lazy finger wave, but he kept his face turned toward the window as he lit a cigarette he pulled from his vest pocket. 

Kakashi cut right to the chase. "I was talking to Aoba the other day and he had some interesting things to say about Iruka."

Asuma laughed and finally turned to face him with a grin. "He drag you into that? Iruka was around a lot when I was a teenager, so I probably know him better than most, and I can tell you he's just not that interesting." His smile twisted a bit guiltily. It was a little harsh coming from someone who Iruka presumably saw as a friend, and the man knew it. 

"So he was working for the Sandaime even back then?" Kakashi asked curiously. 

“Yeah, Iruka worked for Dad, but it wasn't for that reason that he was around at first. Both his parents died in the Demon Fox’s attack and he didn’t have any other living relatives. So, Dad would have him over for tea every week to check up on him. Well,” the man blew out a long stream of smoke. “He didn’t start having him over right away. It was a bit after all that."

"I don’t really know when he started working for Dad, since I’d left for the Fire Daimyo’s court by that point. But he was definitely already doing it by the time he started teaching. That was a row, let me tell you.”

Kakashi's bored demeanor would've fooled anyone who didn't know him better. “What do you mean?”

“Dad didn’t want him going to work at the academy. Iruka eventually convinced him with some speech about ‘the Will of Fire’ and agreeing to a probationary period _and_ continuing to come in to the Hokage’s office in the evenings.”

That one stumped Kakashi, and frankly alarmed him a little bit. "Why did the Sandaime want some teenager working for him so badly?" 

“I doubt it was because Iruka was some whiz-kid at paperwork," Asuma said, then paused, uncomfortable, as if unsure how much more to say.

"If you ask me, he felt guilty," he eventually went on. "Iruka was one of those kids who slipped through the cracks, a bit." _Like you,_ went unspoken. "And he ended up taking him under his wing, but it was too little too late and Dad didn't want to admit it. The job was his way of trying to keep him from leaving the nest for a little while longer."

Asuma snorted to himself and shrugged. "And Iruka turned out to be handy at paperwork after all, so nobody complained about it too much."

The son of the Sandaime took a final drag on the cigarette and snuffed it out in the ashtray at his elbow. "Don't scare him too much if you're going to be following him around for your amusement or whatever this is." He stood and stretched, heading for the door. Before he vanished through it, he turned around and added, "I didn't grow up with him so I can't say he's like a brother to me, but a younger cousin maybe. And I might take it personally if he comes to harm."

______________________________

Next on his list was Raido, because _honestly_. How the hell was Iruka friends with Raido? He found him exactly where he expected to find him: standing guard outside the Hokage’s office, door closed while she met with some village elder or another. 

Kakashi slouched up to the tokubetsu jonin, but “Maa, Raido, maybe you can help me with something,” was as far as he got. 

Raido didn’t even deign to look at him, eyes locked on the corridor and anyone who might be approaching as he brusquely cut him off. 

“It’s none of your damn business Kakashi, so stop sticking your nose into it.”

“So you _do_ know what’s going on with Iruka.”

“I do know, and that’s how I know that it’s none of your damn business. Don’t let me catch you asking about this again.”  
______________________________

Kotetsu and Izumo must be holdovers from the chunin’s childhood - the kind of friends you can’t shake because you’ve simply known each other too long, Kakashi thought, perhaps uncharitably. The pair, while competent, were as big of a pair of goofballs as Naruto, and it didn’t seem to jive with the by-the-book sensei act Iruka put on. Then again, the teacher saw them more frequently than any of the others on his list. 

Kakashi enjoyed a nap in a tree near the gates while he waited for them to come on shift. When he blinked open an eye to see them jostling each other over some joke, he pulled his book away from where he’d been using it to shade his face and dropped down.

“You’re Umino Iruka’s friends, right?”

The two gaped at the sight of him. “Uh, yeah,” Izumo answered, straightening. 

“A friend of mine ran into him a little past two in the morning a few weeks back. Any chance you know where he was headed?”

Kotetsu scoffed, crossing his arms. “Are you kidding? Iruka can’t stay out past midnight or he’ll turn back into a pumpkin.” At Kakashi’s vaguely confused expression, he clarified, “he's a social guy, for sure, but a total workaholic. Needs his beauty rest to handle all those kids and pissy ninja at the mission desk.”

Izumo pushed his hair out of his eye before it promptly fell back into place, looking concerned. “He used to have pretty bad insomnia when we were younger, and would go for walks. But he hasn’t mentioned it in years, so I didn’t think it was a problem anymore. Is he okay?”

Dodging the question, Kakashi went on, “so you’ve known each other a long time then. Were you on the same genin team?”

“Nah,” Kotetsu replied. “Me and Izumo were, but our third was Tsubaki. Iruka was on a team with Mizuki and an Uchiha girl. We really only started hanging out when we made chunin the same year.” 

“Do you remember who his jounin-sensei was?” 

“Ah, I think it was…?” Kotetsu turned to Izumo, who supplied a name Kakashi recognized as having been killed in the invasion by Sound during Naruto’s chunin exams. So, two of his three squadmates dead and the last in jail. No information was going to come from there.

“Hmm, alright, thanks.” Kakashi turned and walked away, ignoring the calls coming from behind him. 

“Hey, wait! What’s this about?" "Is Iruka in trouble or something?”  
______________________________

He cornered Anko at her favorite dango stand, scaring a pair of genin with some hopefully non-classified stories from the bowels of T&I. 

"What's up, Kakashi?" she asked, chewing the sweet treat off its skewer as he shooed the wee baby ninja away, equal parts fascinated and horrified after their encounter with the kunoichi. "You finally ready to accept my invitation to strip poker night?" She leered. "I'm eager to finally see what's under the mask."

"I'm actually here to ask about your bar nights," he said casually, hands in his pockets. 

"Really?" She straightened, excited. "Me and the boys got a crawl planned this Saturday." She waggled her eyebrows. "You sure the great Sharingan no Kakashi wants to slum it with the rest of us mortals?" 

He sighed. "It's actually one of 'your boys' I'm interested in."

Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped open before widening into an enormous grin. She elbowed him in the side a little harder than necessary for good-natured teasing. 

"Kakashi, you dog! I didn't know you swung that way! Which one is it?" 

"Maa, not like that. I'm curious how you know Iruka, and how _well._ "

Anko chewed on the end of her skewer. "What a downer topic. But I guess it's not exactly a secret." She pulled the last dumpling off the stick with her fingers and popped it into her mouth, then sucked the glaze off her fingertips, looking contemplative. 

"Iruka was the only one who really understood…he never pitied me or hated me or feared me after I…got back. He's a really fantastic shoulder to cry on!" 

She slung her arm around his shoulder, forcing him to hunch over. "Iruka's an amazing friend who'll always come running whenever you need him." 

Kakashi felt the tip of the skewer press lightly against his jugular.

"So if I find out you've been spreading nasty rumors about him I'll come find you when you're sleeping and cut out your remaining natural eye."  
______________________________

He found Genma reading a newspaper in the park, near an outdoor shogi tournament. Kakashi plopped down on the bench next to him. 

“So I heard you’re hanging out with Iruka-sensei these days. How did that happen?” he asked, making sure his smile reached his eyes to blaze friendliness and sincerity. 

“Iruka’s on the personal guard with me.”

Kakashi’s brain skidded to a halt. “No, he’s not. The Hokage Guard Platoon has only three members. I would know.”

Genma shot him an unimpressed look. “Yeah, I guess you would. That’s why I figure it’s safe to tell you this. Iruka wasn’t part of it back when we guarded the Fourth, obviously.”

Kakashi had to remind himself not to flip out in public. He flipped open the notebook. “This doesn’t make any sense. When does he do it? When he works in the office? But Tsunade usually isn’t there that late at night.”

“If that’s his schedule you’re looking at, then you should already know Iruka only works the night shift, guarding the Hokage residence.” Genma licked his finger and turned a page. “The rest of us have to sleep, you know.” 

“What does that mean?”

“It means there’s 24 hours in a day, and between me, Raido, Iwashi, and Iruka, we all get a six hour shift, and Iruka’s happens to be from midnight until six in the morning. And that's when the rest of us get some sleep so we’re bright eyed and bushy tailed to follow Tsunade around the next day.” 

Kakashi stared at the question marks spanning 12am-6am in Aoba’s handwriting mocking him across over a dozen pages. “So when does Iruka sleep?”

“How should I know, you’re the one with his schedule. Which is a bit creepy, by the way. Does he know you have that? If you like him, ask him out, don’t stalk him. He’s not seeing anyone right now.”

Kakashi needed to go think deeply somewhere quiet for a while.


	3. Kakashi Gets Answers

Umino Iruka doesn’t sleep. Nothing so much as a yawn in Aoba’s weeks of obsessive observation. Nor in the days since the conversation with Genma that Kakashi had devoted to a bit of light stalking. And not, as he was beginning to suspect, for a long time prior to that.

That the man’s social life seems to revolve entirely around restaurants and bars, where plenty of people have observed him eating and drinking, makes Aoba’s assertion that he’s actually a puppet ridiculous. But that he’s no worse for wear despite his sleepless schedule makes the accusation that he’s not human not nearly as far fetched as Kakashi wants to admit, even to himself. 

Any one of Iruka’s five ( _five!_ ) jobs put him in an ideal position to do serious damage to Konoha as a spy, but it was for that very reason Kakashi didn’t believe the man was working for an enemy village. Too many people in high positions, people Kakashi _trusts_ , seemed to know all or at least part of his situation and still trust _him_. But for all that the Hatake family has historically been associated with dogs, Kakashi’s disposition has always been more like a cat: he couldn’t help but indulge his curiosity, even if it wasn’t in his best interest.  
______________________________

That night, Kakashi dreamed of a memory.  
______________________________

“Do you understand what you saw the night Orochimaru fled?”

Kakashi remembered bodies strung from the walls. He remembered how easily the Sannin had flung him aside, for all that he was supposed to be a prodigy, Anbu, best of the best. It was more the stink of failure than the reek of blood he’d been trying to scrub off afterwards. 

“It’s not my place to understand,” he replied tonelessly from behind the dog mask. 

Sarutobi Hiruzen stared at Kakashi over steepled fingers. “Orochimaru longs to learn every possible jutsu in creation. Everything he does is a way to bring him closer to that goal.” 

Kakashi waited for the Hokage to continue, but he seemed to be waiting for a reaction from Kakashi himself. “I don’t understand, sir.”

The old man sighed and leaned back, eyes firmly planted in the past. 

“Of all my students, Orochimaru was always the most devoted to his studies. The quickest to pick up new techniques, even improve upon them. His thirst for knowledge was insatiable. I encouraged it because I couldn’t see how it could be bad.” The old man shook his head. “I was foolish.”

More to himself than the teenager standing before him, he mused, “He once confessed to me that he wished there were more hours in a day. He spoke longingly of how he could truly devote himself to jutsu research and learn more than any other living man if only he didn’t need to sleep.”

Abruptly the Hokage’s mouth went hard and his eyes cold, back in the present. He picked up an innocuous folder that had been resting on top of a pile on his desk. “Based on the autopsies conducted on the bodies we recovered from the lab, he’s now decided a lifetime isn’t enough to accomplish his goal. He pursues immortality.” 

He tossed the file down in front of Kakashi. A small photograph, likely the headshot from a genin ID, slid out, depicting a smiling purple-haired girl.

“You’re no doubt wondering why I am telling you any of this. Orochimaru is in the wind, but we now know that when he left, he took one of his students with him. Mitarashi Anko.” 

The Hokage tapped the photograph. “When he last engaged with our hunter-nin, she wasn’t with him. Any knowledge she has may be invaluable in his capture and in determining how many village secrets he’s stolen. Your mission is to retrieve her, if she still lives. We suspect she was taken unwillingly, but…,” he sighed deeply, looking far older than the day he’d retaken up the hat and robes just over a year ago. 

Kakashi looked up from the photograph. “What about Orochimaru?”

The older man shook his head sharply.

“That’s a matter for the hunter-nin. He’s too dangerous, and at this point we don’t know what he’s capable of. If you encounter him, do not engage.” 

Kakashi’s eye narrowed, and the other man noticed. 

“As far as you are concerned, this is a rescue mission, and only a rescue mission. Are we clear?”

“Yes, Hokage-sama.” 

“Good.” He placed a girl’s bracelet on the desk between them. “I assume your nin-dogs are up to the task?”

Kakashi let out a tiny scoff. “Of course!”

“Then ready your team.”  
______________________________

Kakashi’s eyes shot open, but he remained lying still in bed, years of practice keeping his breathing slow and steady even as his heart raced. He remembered that mission. They’d recovered Anko wandering alone in the forest, deep in the throes of fever and chakra fluctuating dangerously courtesy of a curse seal the likes of which no one had ever encountered. 

She was nearly useless in terms of information. She was reasonably sure Orochimaru had let her go willingly, but she couldn’t produce a reason why. She knew there were others in the hideout he’d taken her to, but she couldn’t say if they were research subjects or followers. A session with a Yamanaka determined the application of the curse seal had rendered her unconscious for the majority of the time she was missing, and Orochimaru had used some sort of memory jutsu on her in an effort to cut out the rest. 

Orochimaru didn’t have the skills of a Yamanaka, however. It was a hack job, as the disgusted clan kunoichi put it, a kunai in place of a scalpel. It took a few dives in, but she managed to piece together the fragments from Anko’s mind and get the location of the hideout. 

Orochimaru was long gone by then, of course. Probably gone since before he’d released Anko. Kakashi remembered the Anbu team that had gone to check it out returning with a lot of bodies in scrolls. But now, with the memory fresh in his mind from the dream, he started to wonder.

_‘He spoke longingly of how he could truly devote himself to jutsu research and learn more than any other living man if only he didn’t need to sleep.’_

What if there had been another survivor?  
______________________________

Iruka turned on the light in his living room, and immediately yelped, dropping the bag from the 24-hour convenience store on the floor. A cup ramen tumbled out and rolled across the floor to bump against Kakashi’s foot from where he sat on the couch. 

“Kakashi! What are you doing in my apartment?! ...Were you sitting in the dark?”

“You’re late,” was what he got in reply.

Iruka scowled, and picked up his bag. He took a step forward to pick up the styrofoam cup of ramen, hesitated at realizing he’d need to approach Kakashi in the same way one might have doubts about getting near an apparently sleeping crocodile, and evidently decided to leave it where it was. He moved toward the tiny kitchen to put the food away.

“I don’t know what I could possibly be late for, considering I wasn’t expecting any company this morning,” he huffed. 

It took days to clear all the rubble from the Demon Fox’s attack, Kakashi thought to himself. More than a week before a list of the missing and the dead was available. Over a month before everyone was permanently moved out of the shelters. Plenty of time for a new orphan to go missing. And no one would ever know. 

Kakashi tossed the notebook on the coffee table, where it landed open, pages fluttering a bit. “You were supposed to get home at six. You’ve kept me waiting, and now you won’t have time to eat breakfast.”

Looking surprised and wary, Iruka made his way over and picked up the notebook. His face grew more and more red with each page he turned.

“What the hell is this? Have you been following me?”

“Maa, not me. Aoba.”

Iruka went a little pale. “What? Why would Aoba do this?”

Kakashi leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. “Your little run-in on the way to the Hokage mansion spooked him more than a bit.”

Iruka looked confused before his eyes cleared in remembrance and more than a little annoyance. “That was over a month ago! Has he been following me that long?” He looked down at the notebook and then back up, incredulity creeping into his voice. “Is this some kind of blackmail attempt?” 

Kakashi blinked slowly. “You’ll have to talk to Aoba about that.”

Iruka dropped a hand to his hip, mockingly, anger surging back. “Oh, so you’re just his messenger? Well, I’m in the Hokage’s confidence, so fat lot of good threatening me will do you both. Now get out of my apartment!” He stalked over to the door and opened it, gesturing expansively. 

Kakashi looked away, rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly regretting his decision to do things this way.

“Maa, Aoba doesn’t know I’m here, sensei. He’s not trying to blackmail you, and I’m not either. I just want to ask you some questions.”

Iruka crossed his arms, leaving the door open. “And why should I answer any?”

“I’m pretty sure I already know the answers. But satisfy my curiosity.”

“Or what?” the teacher asked darkly.

“Or nothing,” Kakashi sighed. “I’ll leave you alone.”

Iruka stared at him for a long moment, before closing the door and leaning against it.

“Alright, let’s hear it.”

Kakashi took a deep breath, before looking the chunin dead in the eye and speaking as clearly and evenly as possible. “You’re one of Orochimaru’s experiments. He wanted to give up sleep, but needed someone to practice on. He succeeded with you.”

Iruka grimaced. “For a given manner of speaking. Yes, fine. You figured it out. Happy now?”

“Not particularly.” They stared at each other, unsure what came next. “It’s nothing to be ashamed over,” Kakashi eventually spoke up. “You’re far from the only one, and I don’t just mean Anko. Someone I’m...close to. He’s another.”

Iruka slid down the door and dropped his head back against it, closing his eyes. “I’m not ashamed of it, Kakashi. But it’s creepy. It makes people nervous. And it’s not without its side effects.”

“Side effects?”

Iruka dropped his head to his shoulder, opening one eye to glare at the jounin still on his couch. “I wasn’t born like this, Kakashi.”

“Obviously. We just finished discussing that.”

Now he just sighed, as though disappointed by a promising but unmotivated student. “I know you have problems using that eye, Kakashi. Don’t give me that look, I have lots of friends and lots of sources. My point is, you weren’t born an Uchiha.” He made a gesture toward his head. “You have the eye, but you don’t have the brain pathways to use it the way an Uchiha could naturally.”

“Orochimaru’s modifications mean my body can function completely without sleep.” A dark look took over his face, as if he were imagining doing something very horrible to the man in question. It wasn’t a look he was used to seeing on the kind teacher’s face.

“Not just that. He cut into my brain, made it so I _can’t_ sleep. But that’s not the same thing as not needing it. Sleep is pretty vital to mental health, too.” He dipped his fingers into his vest pocket and pulled out the small medicine packet Kakashi has seen a few days before. “This helps, but I can’t stop taking it, ever, for the rest of my life.” 

Kakashi got up from the couch and sat down on the floor next to Iruka. “What happens if you don’t take it?”

“Nothing much at first. Forgetfulness, difficulty concentrating. Nothing you probably haven’t experienced yourself when you get tired, just without _feeling_ tired for me. But if I forget to take it, I’ll keep forgetting to take it, and it gets worse the longer I go without a dose.”

Seeing Kakashi’s ‘go on’ look, Iruka scratched at his nose and looked down at the floor. “Mood swings come next.”

Kakashi smiled, even though Iruka couldn’t see it. “You’re kind of famous for your temper, sensei. Are you sure you wouldn’t be like that anyway?”

Iruka scowled, but he didn’t seem angry. “Then hallucinations.”

That made Kakashi sit up. Iruka scooted a bit further away from him. “Nothing major. Just, it’ll look like the walls are breathing, or I’ll see things moving out of the corner of my eyes. Sometimes I’ll feel a finger tracing the back of my neck, or hear whispers coming from empty corners.”

“That...sounds awful.”

Iruka shrugged. “It’s mostly just annoying. But it’s what comes after that’s the dangerous part.” He sighed deeply. “That’s when the paranoia sets in.”

Kakashi raised an eyebrow. “A little paranoia is healthy for a shinobi."

Iruka hunched his shoulders. “Well, this isn’t a little. This is 'I accused my civilian neighbor of being a spy for Iwa because he asked how my weekend went' paranoia.”

Kakashi chuckled. “I would have liked to see that. I’m sure Ibiki would be very interested in Iwa’s plans to infiltrate the Konoha shinobi bar scene.” An eye rolled upward in thought. “Hmmm, that’s not actually a bad idea.”

Iruka glared and spun himself on his hands so he faced the jounin. “I attacked my own squad on a mission because my unit commander insisted on carrying the intel we’d been sent to retrieve himself, and I didn’t trust him with it.”

Kakashi’s single visible eye widened. "I can see how that would be an issue."

"It was after that I wasn't allowed on missions outside the village anymore. There's just too much that can go wrong, and without reliable access to my medication…I'm perfectly _functional_ but not _rational_ , which makes me unsafe to be around."

Kakashi leaned back in thought. “If you’re so quick to turn on your fellows, then why are you allowed access to restricted material? Children? The Hokage, for that matter?”

To Kakashi’s surprise, Iruka burst into laughter. He got annoyed as it kept going. Eventually brushing a tear from his eye, Iruka answered, somewhat ruefully, “ _I’m_ always loyal to Konoha. It’s everyone _else_ ’s loyalty that’s in question.” 

He smiled a bit bashfully. “It’s why Ibiki says there’s no one better suited to the job than me. I’d die before I’d let a threat to the village get past me, and no threat will go unnoticed because I see everything as a threat.”

Staring off into the middle distance, Iruka’s smile faded. Eventually he leveraged himself to his feet. “But that’s not really a way to live, so I try to remember to take my medication.”

He picked up the medicine packet from the floor and walked into the kitchen, calling over his shoulder, “Did you want tea?”

Kakashi followed him, sitting down at the tiny kitchen table. “Yes, thanks. So what’s in it?”

“Jasmine.” Iruka smirked at Kakashi’s annoyed stare. “I don’t know what’s in the medicine. Sandaime called Lady Tsunade back to the village long enough for her to create it after I was rescued. Even if they had to force it down my throat because I was convinced it was poison.”

Kakashi frowned. “If she was in the village back then, why didn’t she just heal the damage? She’s the greatest medic-nin Fire Country’s ever seen.”

Iruka shook his head. "The injury was already too old. The brain is a remarkably malleable organ and can adapt to a lot of damage by rerouting synapses. At that point, trying to put it back to how it was…simply put, it wasn’t possible." He looked away, embarrassed. "And I don't want anyone else opening up my head, anyway. Not even Lady Tsunade."

Kakashi eyed the powder speculatively as Iruka dumped it into his own teacup after setting another in front of his uninvited guest. Iruka smirked.

“I wouldn’t recommend taking it if you were thinking of it as a good replacement for a stimulant next time you’re on a mission. It might seriously mess you up. This is about as custom as medicine gets.” 

Kakashi chuckled. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Iruka drained his cup in three long sips, then set it back down, dropping his chin into his hand. “Lady Tsunade heard in her travels that dolphins can stay awake indefinitely by selectively resting half of their brain at a time. It’s how they avoid getting snuck up on by sharks without the side effects of going crazy. This is supposed to mimic that, as close to sleeping brainwaves as I can get.”

Kakashi grinned beneath his mask, and knew Iruka could tell by the pull of the fabric.

“Dolphins, huh. What a small world.” 

The corner of Iruka’s lip twitched upward. “I suppose so.” He glanced up at the clock. 

“You were right about me not having time for breakfast this morning. I’m due at the Hokage’s office.” The teacher placed his cup in the sink before turning to his guest.

“Are you coming?”

Kakashi pointed to himself. “Should I?”

“Well, depending on how many others Aoba roped into investigating me..." Iruka rubbed a hand over his face. "I have a feeling I'm going to have to have this talk with a lot of people. Or else we're all going to need to get our story straight. Maybe it's selfish of me, and it's not like I've been trying especially _hard_ to hide it but," he wrapped his arms around his waist, eyes finding their way to a photo of him and Naruto on the wall. "Knowing what Anko went through, I don't really want everyone to know."

Kakashi thought back to everyone _he'd_ involved, and winced at who _they_ might have mentioned it to. But remembering the way Asuma and the others had closed ranks around the chunin standing in front of him now...He drained his cup. "However this plays out, sensei, I don't think you have to worry about a thing."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not a brain expert, obviously. Hope you enjoyed this regardless.


End file.
